After running 3 consecutive days for the first time since late April today was most definitely a rest day. I was very nervous this morning taking those first few steps out of bed, part of me was expecting that old familiar pain to come back, thankfully it didn’t. I was equally cautious on the walk from the car park to the office, in the early days of my injury this was a slow painful walk as my legs woke up to the day, especially when I was walking up stairs, again, thankfully no problems.
I am enjoying learning to run within myself, I have been a slave to the footpod since I started using it in late 2005. It is a great tool and I wouldn’t be without it, I love being able to know instantly how far I ran, my heart rate info and average pace etc, however it can also have a negative impact. Being able to see real time how far you have gone and what pace you are on can crush you further if you are having a crap day, encourage poor training habits (oh, better grind out and extra 300 mtres or 1.5Km to round out the distance) or invoke disbelief in your ability (wow, I am running that pace, I am not good enough to sustain that better slow down).
The footpod is here to stay but I have changed the way I use it. I no longer have it set to display real time distance and pace, it is now set to show heart rate, stopwatch and time of day. Therefore when I ran yesterday it was purely on feel, had I been looking at the real time pace it would have become an obsession and taken over the workout. I’d have thought “Yikes, that is way too fast, I can’t sustain that better adjust my pace”, instead I just went for it, backing off if I was labouring too hard and picking up again when I felt good. For a very brief moment there yesterday I even felt a return of my blessed running on clouds feeling when it all just feels so perfect and I know I am hitting the pace perfectly 
I am learning to believe what I am capable of, trust the feedback I am getting from my body and to run in the moment.
Late last year I had already decided that the footpod was not going to be used in races so I could learn to self pace, unfortunately I just haven’t had much of a chance to race since then 
, but letting go of it in training has been a great decision as well. This is why there are no more round figures in my running log, because I am running to time or a planned route in my head, the distance will be what it will be.
Alot of people tried to soothe me when I was first injured with platitudes along the lines of “you will come back stronger”, “you will learn from this”, “it will make you a better runner”. At the time I was pretty grumpy about the whole thing and just didn’t want to know about it.
Guess what
I am coming back stronger
I have learned from the experience
It has made me a better (and smarter) runner
With a new approach to training and a new philosophy I have a renewed enthusiasm and a self belief that I didn’t possess 6 months ago.
Why would I believe that I can’t run 10Km in 42 minutes or 21.1 in 90 minutes?
Who says I can’t?
Why can’t I?
Of course I bloody can!
I have the drive and the will to train.
If you believe that something is impossible then of course it is.
If you believe something is impossible then you have defeated yourself before you have even started.
I believe in myself.
And that is all that matters to me.
Think I must have had a “seen the light” moment today 
I am not even going to proof read this post, let the stream of consciousness stand as is
